A few days before I was to be induced, we went on our last real date night for awhile with Grandma Swan and Chris and Kristen to watch Top Gun. It was quite the show! We were surprised I didn't go into labor for all the heart pounding moments.
Early in the morning on Tuesday, July 19th we waited for the hospital to call and tell us to come in and start the induction process. While we were waiting, Mom Peck who was going to take the kids for us, called to inform us that Aaron had Covid. My mom had been dealing with Shingles so I was really worried about where the kids would go. Fortunately my mom felt well enough to take them so we dropped them off around noon and went to the hospital. We're so grateful for her sacrifice in taking them even though she didn't feel the best.
When we arrived, we were checked in and the nurse brought in the Pitocin bag. She was just about to hook me up to it when she thought she'd better check to see how far I was dilated. Turns out I was hardly dilated at all and she couldn't feel the baby's head. She used an ultrasound machine to try and see where the head was but she wasn't able to figure it out. Doctor Olsen was called in and he confirmed my worst fear, the baby was breach. He had been head down the entire pregnancy but must have turned in the last week. He told us we had a couple options. One was to try and turn the baby. Apparently there was a 50% chance of success but he could try. The second option was to just have a C Section. We thought we might as well try and turn the baby so I was injected with some powerful meds while Doctor Olsen pushed, according to Loren, extremely hard on my tummy. He tried three times but was unsuccessful because the placenta was in front.
Now our only option was a C Section. I had told Loren before I was even pregnant that my worst fear was having a C Section. It sounded absolutely awful and painful. I started to get really nervous and tried to stay calm but it was hard to do. The nurse brought Loren some scrubs to change into and I was wheeled into the operating room at 2:45 pm.
Loren thought we should take a selfie right before we left for the operating room. This was definitely a fake smile.
I was given a spinal block which numbed everything from my chest down. For some reason epidurals never seemed that painful, maybe because I was dealing with contractions at the same time. The spinal block was pretty painful, I may have squeezed the life out of Loren's hand. I numbed up pretty quick afterwards though. They set up a curtain in front of me and I could hear the anesthesiologist speaking calmly behind me about what to expect. Instantly, I felt peace and calm and knew that everything was going to be ok. I knew at that moment there was heavenly help around me. It was a beautiful, spiritual experience I'll never forget.
Loren poked his head over the curtain and asked if he could watch. Doctor Olsen told him he could come to the other side and get a front row seat to the whole thing. I was surprised he did, watching someone be cut open made me nauseous just thinking about it. I tried to think loud thoughts as Doctor Olsen gave Loren the play-by-play of what he was doing. If I didn't listen I could hold it together.
In just four short minutes from the start of the surgery, at 3:16 pm, our sweet Jace was born! Loren told me they pulled his little bum out first, then he was looking into those sweet little eyes. Tears streamed down my face as I watched them take my baby away to be weighed and measured. I'm glad Loren was right there with him. It was such a surreal moment to know the baby who had been growing for nine months inside me was now here. Jace weighed a perfect 7 lbs 6 oz and was 19 inches long.
Jace was crying pretty good when Loren finally brought him over. I couldn't hold him but Loren brought him close to my face. I said his name softly and talked quietly into his ear. He immediately stopped crying and looked right at me.
We stayed together like this until Doctor Olsen had stitched me back up. Even though I couldn't do skin to skin with Jace, we still had a beautiful bonding experience. It's so crazy that you can love someone you only just met more than you ever thought possible. In that moment, everything I had just gone through was worth it. I was snuggling a piece of heaven and never wanted it to end.
Recovery was pretty rough. I needed help laying down and getting back up again. I couldn't reach Jace in the bassinet or even slide to adjust my position without stinging pain. Loren left the first night to sleep with the kids so I had to call the nurses almost every hour to help with something.
The next day Loren came early in the morning and it was amazing what relief I felt when he walked through the door. It feels like I can do anything if Loren is by my side. He is the sweetest dad. I loved watching him interact with Jace those first few days. He was so tender and proud. Unfortunately he had to leave around noon to prepare for a big hearing he had the next day. I had no idea he was actually giving the closing statements and wondered why he was spending so much time preparing for a hearing he'd just be sitting in. I guess we were both in different worlds.
Before he left, my mom brought the kids to meet their new baby brother. I loved seeing how excited they were and how gentle they held him. I loved having all four of my kids together.
The second night in the hospital was pretty rough. Jace hardly slept at all and only wanted to be held. Finally my nurse took pity on me and offered to take Jace to the nursery for a couple hours so I could sleep. So I got a couple hours but it definitely wasn't enough. What was worse, Loren could only stay until about 11 am next day because of the hearing. I was a sleep deprived, hormonal mess. Loren told me he'd be back by 5:30 that evening at the latest to take us home. I think I must have watched sixteen episodes of Beat Bobby Flay that afternoon. At 3:00 my dad texted me and asked if he could come see the baby. Tears welled up as I asked if he could actually just take us home with him. He was at the hospital in the next thirty minutes and we were on our way! How grateful I am for my dad. I love him more than words. We hung out at my parents house until 7 pm when Loren finally made it. It was then that I found out he gave closing statements and did an incredible job. I guess it was good I didn't know, it would have given me another thing to be worried about. I know it was so hard for him to leave us and get his head in the hearing. I was so proud of him. But also so grateful my dad came when he did or I might have been a really sorry sight for Loren when he came back to the hospital.
Out of all the kids, Allie really loves to hold Jace. It's so fun to see each of them bonding with him.
The kids had a fun sleepover at Grandma Peck's. We appreciate the all help we've received with the kids. Obviously, Hudson was in total heaven.
Transition is always hard. All the kids love Jace to the moon and back. But it's hard not to be able to give them the attention I used to. I don't read stories or play with them anymore. I definitely have felt guilt but try to remind myself that it's just a stage and will pass faster than I think. In the meantime, I have a wonderful support group who picks up for me.
Lindsay competed and won the national student chef competition! Proud is an understatement of how we feel about her efforts. She's worked so incredibly hard preparing for this competition and completely deserves this win. We love her so much.
Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Peck for getting these cousins together for such fun.
Loren has spent hours writing his first composition for an online competition. It sounds amazing and I'm so proud of what he accomplished. He's learned a lot and it will be fun to hear what he comes up with in the future.
I love the sleeping positions this guy gets into.
Allie's Kiwi box came with this adorable puppet show and the kids put on shows for me all afternoon. So fun!
It's been three weeks since Jace was born and Loren and I are definitely sleep deprived. I sit down at the end of the day and wonder what I even did besides feed, change and rock a baby. It shows in the state of my house and the ever growing piles of laundry. I know this is the hard part and eventually it gets easier. Even though having a baby is one of the hardest, most exhausting things I've ever done, my heart is completely full. I have four beautiful kids and a wonderful, supportive husband. I truly could not ask for more in my life. My family of six is everything.
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