New Beginnings

  It's hard to know how to catch up with everything that's happened this summer. I can easily say that it's been the most stressful, emotional and physically grueling time of my life so far. I'm sure Loren would say the same.
  Emily graduated high school! She's going to SUU in Cedar City. These littles sure love their Aunt Emmy.

  Lydia loves Grandpa time, especially on the lawnmower.

  Charlie was able to go on his wish trip to Disney World. We were so glad he was able to go and make some fun memories. They only allowed siblings under 18 to go with him so that meant the married kids, Sarah and Rachel partied at home. On memorial day we pretended we were having fun at our own theme park. We always have fun with these guys!

  We had a huge birthday party for Charlie. There was a bouncy house and slide, rock wall and this train. So many people came out to support Charlie and show him how much he's loved. It was a fun night.

  Mike Malm painting a portrait of Charlie. It now hangs at the Peck's in Avon.

  My brother Nate and his wife Kiana were selling pest control in Las Vegas for the summer. They managed to come home for a weekend in July so my family decided to hang out at Bear Lake for an afternoon. It was fun to catch up and Lydia had a blast playing at the beach.

  I love this picture of Charlie. It reminds me of the first time I played him in chess. We were maybe two minutes into the game when Charlie made a move and said, "Checkmate!" I sat for a moment, completely baffled and asked, "Wait, did you just win?" He gave me his signature smile and nodded. He was a force to be reckoned with when it came to chess!

  Charlie's cousin made a neuroblastoma cell piñata. I think Charlie enjoyed hacking it to pieces. I know we all enjoyed watching him.

  Piano lessons with Todd.

  We were able to go to Bear Lake and stay in a cabin for a few days with the family. We made some fun memories playing games, hanging at the beach and just being together. Charlie made it down to the beach one day and stayed almost the whole day.

  Charlie's Wish Party was a night to remember. Tears were shed and we were all able to tell Charlie what we wished for him. He was able to raise his star.

  The Fourth of July Logan fireworks with my family and Sarah. It's becoming a fun tradition to have her with us.

  On Charlie's real birthday he wanted to play Just Dance on the Wii. My brother Todd came over and we battled it out. I'm proud to say, even while pregnant, I still kept all my high scores. Boo ya.

  Cousins Atticus and Lydia.

  Loren was able to go rock climbing with Sarah and loved it.

  Kristen had a great idea for everyone to paint their favorite memory or thing about our trip to Oregon last summer. Everyone had a puzzle piece and painted different things. I painted flying kites on the beach.

    Allison K Peck joined our family on July 15th at 11:11 AM. She came really quick, I labored for just 4 hours. Looking back on it now, I know Heavenly Father had a hand in the timing of her birth. I was induced five days early and the night before we were supposed to go in, I had a nervous breakdown. I didn't know why I felt we needed to have her early and I was worried something might go wrong. Every time I thought about just letting her come in her own time, I had a strong feeling that wasn't what we were supposed to do. So taking a leap of faith, we went in and prayed for the best.

  It's such a spiritual moment, holding your child for the first time. I hope I'll never forget it.

  Lydia's response to the news. We laughed so hard!

  On the same day, Charlie and Mom were the next door over getting platelets. They came over afterwards and Charlie was the first one to hold Allie.

  My sister Emily helped us so much. Brayden had his state swim meet and my parents went down to Salt Lake to watch him. That left Em and Todd to watch Lydia all day while we were in the hospital. We owe them big! They brought Lydia up to see Allie later in the afternoon. Lydia wasn't too sure what to think, she was shy and nervous to hold her too long. The next day all my family stopped by on their way to Idaho. Little did they know they'd be watching Lydia for the next few days. We can't thank them enough for all their help and support.

  That morning Charlie was life-flighted to Primary Children's. Aunt Sarah stopped by before going down with him. Loren was able to run across the parking lot and snap some pictures of the helicopter before it took off.

  We were discharged from the hospital and arrived home around 2 pm on Saturday, July 16th. Just two hours later we were racing down to Primary's to be with Charlie. Mom wasn't sure if he would make it much longer. Luckily, we hadn't unpacked anything yet so we threw our bags in the car and headed down. I didn't even think that taking a one day old baby to a hospital might be a bad idea until later when we were in a crowded room at dinner. But what else could we do? We just prayed she'd be protected so we could spend that time with Charlie. A huge thank you to my brother Cam and his wife Mary for letting us crash at their place with no notice. It was so appreciated.

  I cherish this picture so much. It brings tears to my eyes every time. I'm so grateful Allie was able to meet Charlie before he passed.

  Charlie rallied and was able to be brought home. We all stayed in Avon together until he passed a week later. It was a special time of bonding and I loved all of us being together and supporting each other.

  Charlie passed away on July 23rd. Though we were grateful he wasn't in pain anymore, our hearts hurt from being apart. It was such a tender, spiritual time. We had the funeral the next Friday, which was beautiful. Charlie is buried in Avon in a plot overlooking the house. 

  I must confess, that whole two week period was somewhat of a blur for me. So many emotions and ups and downs raging all at once. Before we had Allie, Loren withdrew from the Bar he was signed up to take on the 27th of July. We knew we'd most likely be having a funeral during that time and wanted to spend all the time we could with Charlie and not studying. Although I knew there was nothing we could do, after Loren told me he had withdrawn, I went in a room and sobbed. All the billions of hours spent thinking of, studying for and living and breathing the bar suddenly crashed down on me. Whenever Loren would go to Avon to study, Charlie would always tell him not to and play with him instead. I felt like we should have taken that for a sign, like we should have just put it off to begin with because of Charlie's condition. We should have known! But now my rational mind knows there's no way we could have known how fast Charlie would go. There was always this tiny sliver of hope inside telling me he would make a miraculous recovery and life would go on as usual. I grasped onto that hope up until the week before he died. Also during this time I was looking for apartments for us to live when Loren started his job in August.
  Then Allie was born and Charlie passed. To say my post-pardum emotions were all over the place would be an understatement. It was a trying time for everyone.

  Loren and his sisters took Lydia to Downetta Hot Springs one day. They had a fun time. Lydia adores spending time with her aunts.

  We went to our Rigby reunion at this huge water slide in Idaho. Lydia must have gone down it over 100 times. She slept really well that night.

  This is the same horse I used to ride when I was Lydia's age. 

  Loren and I took Lydia to the fair and let her ride a couple rides. She was in heaven.

  The day before we moved, Loren took the MPRE test (ethics test for lawyers). He broke out in some crazy hives all over his body. We all prayed he could focus during the test and not itch. Heavenly Father gave us another tender mercy and helped Loren to be able to focus and finish his test.
  Then it was time to move. A HUGE thank you to all who helped. We never could have done it without you. Dad Peck let us borrow the Excursion and trailer to haul stuff, Mom Peck gave us a bunch a furniture we really needed while Dad Rigby and Brayden helped Loren move EVERYTHING. Apparently we have a lot of stuff. My dad half jokingly, though mostly serious, said he hoped he'd be out of town when we move again.
  We attributed Loren's hives to extreme stress. I hope calmer days are on the horizon.
  Now all that's left to do is get settled in our new home and start this new chapter in our life. New job, new home, new-ish baby and a new start. With all the new beginnings, we will never forget our past memories with our sweet Charlie. We think of him and miss him everyday.