Happy Six Months!

  Lydia turned six months last Wednesday. Six months! Hard to believe last general conference we were taking care of a newborn.  Thinking back on that time, I regret that I didn't enjoy the first two months of her life as much as I should have. I loved her a lot but lack of sleep, her constant crying and need to be held pushed me to my limits. Laundry and dishes were piling up and I couldn't go anywhere without her screaming. I was stuck in the house all day with a helpless, very dependent baby. Sometimes I wondered how I would ever get through the seemingly endless days of diaper changing, feeding and bouncing till my arms would go numb. I felt the weight of knowing that I was responsible for this child. If I didn't get up in the night to feed her, she would go hungry. If I didn't figure out a way to stop her crying, she would keep crying. I shed many tears of hopelessness and frustration and felt so overwhelmed. Loren was my rock and I know I couldn't have made it through that time without him. He did so much and our marriage became so much stronger than it was before. I knew that I could make it through one more day if he was there beside me and he was, every step of the way. Ironically, the fondest memories I have of our marriage was during that hard time. We laughed, we cried, we made mistakes but learned so much together. 
  I think I finally realized how much I really loved Lydia after her two month shots. The week after she had them, she was so sick.  One day I told Loren that we should take her to the ER because she wasn't improving, only getting worse. Thankfully, he was a little more rational than I was and calmly suggested we wait it out for a few more days. I remember holding her and praying I could somehow take away her pain. I thought of how empty my life would be without her, and an overwhelming feeling of love washed over me. In that moment, I would do anything for her. Everything we had been through would be worth it if she could only get better. Eventually she did, and I'm so grateful Heavenly Father let me go through that experience so I could fully understand what a precious and special girl I have been blessed with.
  Needless to say, Loren and I have learned a lot these past six months and have come to love our little girl more than we ever thought possible! She is the sunshine in our life and gives us so much to look forward to and live for. Being a mom is the most wonderful blessing I've been given and I can't wait to see what the years ahead have in store for Lydia. We love you, baby girl!